river of life

Last Thursday(Jan. 6)I took the children to the Great Blessing of the Waters, and afterwards bottled some holy water for home use. When I feel weak, or sick, or in need of strength, I will sip some, and remember...

Theophany is better known as Epiphany in the West. The Orthodox feast is called Theophany because at the baptism of Christ the Holy Trinity appeared clearly to mankind for the first time -- the Father's voice is heard from Heaven, the Son of God is incarnate and standing physically in the Jordan, and the Holy Spirit descends on Him in the form of a dove.

This feast was particularly significant to me this year. I have been rather silent on this space about the most significant loss in my life thus far - the falling asleep of my father. It is hard to package a whole life influence into one or two blog entries. I haven't known what to say or even what to feel. Public life has seemingly gone on as normal. But secretly, I have read the prayers for the dead for him. I have commemorated him at church. And I have visited dad's graveside every month since he was promoted to glory.

There is still no permanent marker there. The mulch and tossed earth hem in the place we lowered the coffin into the earth; his grave is humbly crowned by a patchwork of grassy squares. It is a strange thought to think part of him's just right there under the surface, not far below my feet, and yet his soul is worlds away, high above me.

My dad once wrote a choral piece called "River of Life," which has often been requested to be sung at funerals, though we did not sing it at his. The words to the chorus are the ones my mother wants etched in his gravestone.

There is a river of life
Flowing from God's own throne
Crystal and clear and pure
From God and God alone

I thought of this, as I stood witness to the blessing of these sacred waters, mystically feeling a sense of communion with my father, as he also partakes of the living waters, and I hear this passage read aloud:

Isaiah 35

The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the lily. It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing. The glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it, the excellency of Carmel and Sharon; they shall see the glory of the LORD, and the excellency of our God. Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart, "Be strong, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompense; He will come and save you." Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped. Then shall the lame man leap as a hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing; for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert. And the parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water; in the habitation of dragons, where each lay, shall be grass with reeds and rushes. And a highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean shall not pass over it, but it shall be for those; the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein. No lion shall be there, nor any ravenous beast shall go up thereon; it shall not be found there, but the redeemed shall walk there. And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads; they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

The last few days of my dad's life, I remember reading aloud this very passage. How he groaned in longing. During this time, I had a burning desire to ask if he wished to be baptised (as Salvationists do not practice this sacriment). It was an intense time, and so I never had the opportunity. Occasionally I think back with regret and wish I had just asked. But then I remember all the tears shed, poured out in prayer over his bedside.
And I realize. We did baptise him.