Not a day goes by without me being the recipient of the "You've got your hands full" comment. I might be quietly window shopping in complete serenity while my perfect children obediently lap at my ankles . . .or they might be running circles around me. Regardless, the unsolicited comments are a guaranteed addition to any public outing we take. Today at the mall, for example, I received no less than three You've got your hands full, all before I met up with my quad-stroller-pushing-mother-of-4-under-4 friend. By the time we met, she'd already received a few of her own. I am still caught off guard by these comments, whether they be cruel or sympathetic in nature; I just don't consider three children a large family, and I just don't consider that statement a compliment. Therefore, I feel genuinely surprised and a little annoyed.
You've got your hands full.
After thinking it over for some time now, it seems to me that the statement insinuates, "Why do you have such an abnormally large family? A person who lives in control over nature, a responsible, pro-choice person, would, afterall, not let that happen."
"Don't you know Europe's dying because they won't make babies? Don't you know I'm busy saving civilization right now?" (I feel like piously responding, but instead smile sheepishly and keep to myself.) Ask my husband, proponent of the right-wing book America Alone. It contains all the evidence and statistics needed to comprehend the big picture of a culture that's at stake, Christianity in decline. And it all starts in the family, with having children.
Do I have my hands full? Yes. But my heart is full also. For all those commentators out there, I would recommend a gentler statement like "You are truly blessed." This is the way God sees it, afterall, and He recommends a quiverful.
I consider that comment a compliment, because most people don't have 3 or more kids these days, and, I think, admire me for being able to "handle" them all. :)
ReplyDeleteI love having 3 kids. I wish i could have more (unfortunately with the ages of our kids and financial strains its not in the cards for us) I get that comment all the time even though my kiddos are much older than yours; heck 2 of them are in school during the day so its just me and B...sometimes im bored because im not running 6 different ways all day long. We are all proud and respect you as a woman and a mom. Take all those comments as complements...in my opinion every time i get one of those; someone is just saying "wow your busy, but you look happy and in order"
ReplyDeleteI get that all the time, too, especially now I am pregnant with our fourth and my oldest just turned five. I always joke around with my husband that we are just going out-breed all those who are critical of us :) But, actually, it is quite true. I try not to take it as an insult when people say things like that because I am so incredibly thankful for my lot- I wouldn't have it any other way. It hasn't been easy, but it is always worth it.
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